New Tricks

Thursday night was the first in the new series of New Tricks on BBC1.

Amanda Redman (clearly the show's only bit of totty) and Dennis Watermen (not so much).

I had never watched the show before but I knew the premise was a bunch of retired police folk trying to solve old (unsolved) crimes. It began with one of the old codgers, Brian, checking into a religious rehab where one of the monks was Richard Wilson (I don’t believe it). Faye Ripley, who’s in everything at the moment, even popped up as a counsellor.

Within minutes Brian had the whiff of a mystery in his nose, just because Richard Wilson said “is this about what happened nine years ago?” Surely that could mean anything? It could be nine years ago I accidentally I dressed up like Madonna and sang like a virgin on karaoke.

However, sure enough it was an unsolved murder and the rest of the cronies got on board. I couldn’t help feeling that the way the clues came together and the way that the team worked stuff out was a bit easy and convenient (not that I’m a police detective) maybe I should be though if its that easy. I found it all a tad far fetched although it did keep me mildly entertained for an hour.

I can't say as I'll be watching it again though, give me the Bill anyday!

Eastenders

I was literally wetting my pants with excitement to see the Teeny Weeny talent contest in Eastenders, it was all anyone was talking about. Although, what kind of children’s talent show dishes out three grand prize money anyway? When it came around it was hilarious with Bobby Beale (great name) getting caught cheating and little toothless Tiff’s rendition of I’m a fire starter.

That Sayed is blatantly going to be in denial about the fact that he likes his women men shaped for ages. I mean, how can he not resist camper-than-Christmas- Christian in his endless supply of one size fits all Matalan vests. I just hope this storyline doesn’t drag as long as the whole ‘Danielle is Ronnie’s daughter’ storyline, although, knowing Eastenders, we’re in this for the long haul…

Lock up 'yer sons!

Wednesday. Harry Potter Mania

On Wednesday evening Nikki and I had planned to see My Sister’s Keeper. I had wanted to see it for ages. I decided read the book first hoping that if I knew the story I hoped that I might not embarrass myself as much by crying hysterically in the cinema. When I finished the book I was left sobbing at three in the morning so I was preparing myself to be strong.

In the end we didn’t even get to see the ruddy film, thanks to Harry Potter mania we couldn’t even get in the building. Everyone was acting crazy we even saw a woman standing in a parking space trying to save it for someone she was all like “you aint taking my parking space bitch.”

Day time TV: Thoughts of a slob

I watched This Morning for all of Fern’s last week to get my final Fern fix before she left (not just because I’m unemployed and have nothing else to do). I cant believe that she’s going to be replaced by Holly Willoby my boyfriend will be glued to the TV screen everyday. It was all very sad even Phil shed a tear, bless him but it was good to remenis.

Bye Bye Fern!

Image courtesy of Gettyimages.com

That Allison Hammond is totally insane she’s an ex BB housemate whose done well for herself getting to interview all those film star types.

Bleeding eck I don’t know how Jeremy Kyle can bear to go into work to see that rabble, I’d be scared that I was going to catch pikey.

Jezza Kyle. Stern but fair!

I know what I want to be… a Loose Women. They have the best job getting to sit around chatting. I’d be perfect for it!

I finally got my Gilmore Girls fix. I’d been having withdrawal symptoms since I left uni, us Wordsworth girls watched it almost everyday. Since I’d been back I hadn’t seen a peep. I knew that it’s on E4 sometime in between all the Desperate Housewives and Friends but somehow kept missing it. It’s the last series as well when Lorelai is married to Chris but still loves Luke awww.

Big Brother's Birthday week

I loved Big Brother’s birthday week, seeing the old housemates made me feel all nostalgic of Big Brother memories past. When I saw Half-wit and Craig doing the obstacle course I vividly remembered watching it the first time, ten years ago oh em gee.

I wasn’t enjoying that Noirin walking around with a face like smacked arse though I came to the conclusion that if Marcus kept asking me to cuddle him I probably wouldn’t be looking too happy either.

Charlie and Rodrigo are so cute I could just eat them up.

My little brother was on Little Brother on Wednesday he was actually shown quite a bit and got a photo with George Lamb who he reckons is a “stand up fella”. He also met

Brian Bello, Nikki Graham, Samanda and Dane Bowers though he didn’t have a clue he was (who does to be fair). He’s even in the advert now looking goofy behind Brian.

Apology

My sincere apologies I have neglected my dearest blog I have had some technical difficulties as I have mentioned before. I will now post some older posts that didn’t make it onto the internet. I will also put some new ones, yup going to jam pack this blog full of posts! I will try to be a much better blogger as soon as I have use of the internet I swear.

Thank you

I would like to say a big thank you to my darling Nicola for helping me sort out my blog. She is slowly helping me overcome my fear of technology and letting me use her internet as my home currently lacks the internet (the house that Jack built). I will take some speed tonight to help me overcome my lazyness and tommorow I will blog you up good and proper, honest to blog!
(I have realised that this be neither a rant or a review but pardon me for broadening my horizons). xxx p.s (read her blog it's super and there are some lovely pictures of us dressed like trannies ha).

WEEK IN TV AND FILM: Tuesday

On Tuesday night BBC 2 aired Freefall, the 90 minute drama that attempted to reflect the impact of the economic crisis. The show included viewpoints from three different perspectives, the executive banker, the financial adviser and the working class man.

From all the publicity the programme had received I didn’t realise that it was only a one off. Mainly I was enticed by the programme as it starred Dominic Cooper who you may recognise from rolling around on the beach in Mamma Mia and Girls Aloud’s Sarah Harding who you many recognise from rolling around in front of a club with her legs open . . . I jest.

Dominic was looking sensationally sexy as a charismatic suited financial adviser trying to con people into getting mortgages that they wouldn’t be able to avoid. Sarah Harding was believable as his attractive blonde girlfriend.

The programme had a documentary style with over the shoulder shots and extreme close-ups that gave a tense feeling adding to the fact that you already knew that everything was going to go wrong. I preferred Dominic’s storyline to the executive banker’s who talked business jargon while Dominic and his colleague played by Alfie Allen were out on the pull.

I was loosing interest in the banker’s scenes until he started pleasuring himself in the toilet after a successful business deal which was awkward as I was watching with my parents.... uncomfortable!

Everyone got a bit steamy (not my parents) then and we got a shot of Dominic’s body as he woke up with two naked girls on his chest. Dominic then broke up with Sarah Harding who didn’t return again after a small dramatic performance. The banker showed a glimpse of his human side meeting up with his sarky teenage daughter and Dominic became increasingly more horrible scamming old school friend Jim.

Everything got pretty depressing then as we knew it would as the market collapsed putting everyone in the shit. The story however mainly focused on Jim and his family struggling to pay their mortgage mainly because we had started to care about this real family over the heartless suits. Things went from bad to worse when Jim lost his job they had to have their house repossessed. The banker broke down and ended up jumping off a bridge, so hardly a feel good drama then. The end showed Dominic using his charming ways to sell solar energy showing that you can’t keep some people down- bastard. I was suprised at how much I enjoyed this actually, considering that it sounded like a right snooze fest at first. Also, a great performance from Dominic, much better than his singing!

After all that depression I cheered myself up by watching Dream Girls, that film just makes me want to get all feisty "Mmm mmm guurrrl!" and start belting some tunes. I looked like a mad woman bobbing my head around and clenching my fists. Good grief that Jennifer Hudson has some pipes and Beyonce is also fabulous. (More to come on this in my next post!)

Guuuurrrrrrrrrrl!

WEEK IN TV AND FILM: Monday

On Monday night ITV aired the first episode of seven part of drama Monday Monday.

The Drama stars Morven Christie as Sally a young woman trying to cope with the transfer of her office to Leeds. Sally who is also recovering from a break-up struggles as she tries to cover for her incompetent alcoholic boss, played by Faye Ripley who you may recognise from those Tesco adverts as well as other things. Things start off a little slow with lots of office talk about promotions that don’t really interest me.

The story really starts when Sally meets dishy (yes I said dishy) Steve in a pub and almost sleeps with him (but throws up). The next day Sally realises that he will be working in the same office as her as the PA to the deputy manager. Things get even worse when her boss asks her to attend an AA meeting for her and doesn’t show up; when she goes back to the office she finds Steve and the deputy manager caught up in an intimate moment.

Faye Ripley. The new face of Tescos. She must be proud!

The climax of the episode comes when Sally has finally had enough of her boss’s behaviour and punches her during a meeting, this was quite humorous. Sally and her boss are then both sacked however by the end of the episode due to some bribery everything is back to normal. This first episode shows that the series will mainly focus on Sally’s relationships with her Boss, her fun loving house mate and Steve the love interest.

The cast. Squint to see them closer!

A love triangle and friction in the workplace have already been set up, the programme is quite funny and I kind of want to see what will happen next week, well at least more than I want to see a giraffe being cut open on channel 4 (Inside Nature’s Giants is on at the same time on channel 4.)

I watched Juno afterwards which is hilarious. I love that film so much. I adore Michael Cera and the millions of one liners. I was loling and immediately filled my facebook status with the best quotes, I did the same when I was watching Knocked Up the other day. "They make his junk smell like pie!"

Both films have everything laughter, romance, tears or maybe I just like films involving pregnancy . . . oh dear.

Welcome!

Hello and welcome to Emma’s Rants and Reviews.

Since I have finished uni and don’t really have much else to do at the moment (other than look for a job) I thought that I would write a blog to keep me busy and thousands entertained ha.

Seeing that some of my lovely friends have made it perfectly clear that I myself am not particularly interesting I have decided that instead of rambling on about me I will give my rants and reviews on TV programmes and films. This will not only give me a chance to watch even more TV and films but you people can go out and live your lives and then just read my reviews instead.

You might want my trusty opinion on something before you watch something or maybe you will just want to have a peruse of my blog to see what cripe I’m spouting this time. Either way enjoy!

Emma

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